Donald Miller begins his blog today by saying, “So, according to researchers, if you want to be healthy you have to be in an environment where you are accepted and are free to have flaws.” This isn’t news to me. I’ve thrown my life into this belief. We need authentic connections to be wholehearted people. So why do so many people–people in church ministry, small group leaders, and lots of others, live life outside this kind of environment? I believe there is a one-word answer: control.

We each have a choice: to be in control of our lives (and, so it follows, the lives of everyone else as well) or to be trusting and vulnerable. The most dynamic relationships, groups, churches, and other organizations are built on those two virtues.

In the clip below, researher-storyteller Brene Brown gave a very compelling TED talk about this topic, telling her own story of personal transformation in this area. If you lead a small group or are involved in ministry, invest about 20 minutes to watch this video. I’d love to hear your comments and thoughts!

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Michael Mack has been involved in small group ministry as a pastor, writer, trainer, and speaker for more than 25 years. He founded SmallGroups.com in 1995 and started Small Group Leadership in 2012. He became the 12th editor of Christian Standard magazine in 2017 and continues to speak in churches about small groups, discipleship, and leadership. He lives in Pewee Valley, Kentucky (just outside Louisville), with his wife Heidi. They have four young adult children. Michael enjoys mountain and road biking with a group of friends. See the "About Michael Mack" page under About Us for more about him.

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One Comment

  1. Brian

    December 21, 2011 at 8:15 pm

    Thanks for posting this. I have a love/hate relationship with vulnerability. I hate losing control and yet, when I let go and take a risk and offer my true self, that's when I've had the richest, most life changing experiences.

    It remind me of James 5:16…confessing our sins to another is closely tied to healing. It's when I've disclosed my true self before another that true spiritual growth has taken place.

    Reply

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